NOTE: This is an unedited transcript and, therefore, contains imperfections and is not for publication or quotation in whole or in part by anyone without the express written consent of Pastor Conley. The audio tape of this message delivered October 26, 1997, is available and may be purchased from the Church.  Brackets    "[ ]" are used for parenthetical words and phrases spoken. Parentheses "( )" are used for words inserted by transcriber.

Serving Christ at Home and at Work

Colossians 3:21-4:1

Dr. J. Drew Conley, Pastor

Kennerly Road Baptist Church, Columbia, South Carolina

        I Peter 1:15: “But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation [conduct].. Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.”

         When the Lord grants you salvation and you bow to him as Savior and Lord, you become part of a people that are a people under orders, the children of God who are to be obedient to their new Father who is the giver of all that is good. We each have a purpose to fulfill and our love centers on the Lord that has given us that purpose, and we love to be part of His plan. It is what the center of life is to be about. It’s given by God himself. God did not have to include us in His plan even if He saved us. He didn’t have to give us a job to do; He didn’t have to teach us how to inculcate godliness into every walk of life, but He gives us that privilege. He gives us the honor of being His lights in the world. He gives us the honor of being His messengers. He gives us the honor of bringing glory to the God of heaven before a watching world. When we come to passages like Colossians three, and discuss our responsibilities in the home and in the workplace–responsibilities within the church body itself – these are not things to tax us with burdens too heavy to be borne, but rather to give us clear instruction as to how to translate godliness into really practical terms. God would have us be His children, obedient and holy, and fulfill His purpose for us.

Beginning in verse 18 of chapter three: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance for ye serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons. Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal; knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven.”

         First, Christianity at home. Children essentially have one responsibility, and that is to obey their parents. They are not asked to argue with them, they are not asked to debate the merits of the instruction that they receive. They are merely to do what they‘re told to do. And as they are obedient children, they learn how life is to be lived. And certainly what a great privilege it is if you are a child in a family where the parents know the Lord. Even in that home, you will find that there are lots of flaws in converted people, but that’s not the issue. The issue is for you to learn to live obediently. Sometimes we think as children that it sure will be great when we grow up because then we’ll be out from under Mom and Dad’s thumb. Then our responsibility to obey, and feeling so hemmed in and perhaps frustrated at the lack of freedom we have, we will finally be done with that period of our life. As we grow up, we discover, that rather than our freedom increasing, it actually decreases, because the burdens and the responsibilities become greater, and rather than the very simple instruction, obey your parents, instead there are a variety of authorities in your life, there are variety of demands, each clamoring for your attention. And it seems that as you try to juggle all these responsibilities, even if your attitude is right, it becomes increasingly difficult. to meet all the pressures. The pressure increases, the duties multiply, the accountability, however, remains. We have the demands of the home, but we also have the demands of the workplace. We have authorities all about us, and yet, God has a will. God has a way to make Him Lord of every arena in which we find we have obligation.

         In verse 21, we read: “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Now some will translate the word fathers to mean parents. While it is possible to do that, Paul could have used the word parents, as he did in verse 20, so I tend to give the nod more to his speaking directly to fathers, as the ones responsible for the home and for the way the home is directed. In principle, this applies to mothers as well, and therefore we end up with the same result that both parents are obligated not to provoke their children to anger lest they be discouraged. What does it mean to provoke? Quite literally, it means to stir up and the context determines what it means. Here, it seems to be primarily the idea of exasperating your children, of building up frustration in them as they seek to be obedient children (sometimes more than others), in making it difficult for them to do what God has asked them to do. For we are told not to stir up our children, not to exasperate them, lest they be discouraged – quite literally, lest they lose heart – lest they be without courage or spirit. As we try to train up our children in the way they should go, and teach them the fear and admonition of the Lord, it is easy for fathers to bring the pressure of the workplace home, to take that out on the kids and on the family. It also seems to be, from what I’ve observed, a male tendency to focus more on the product than on the process, more on results than on relationships, and God would have us focus as well on relationships. In other words, it is not just that as a father, or a mother, I want to be sure that my children grow up being obedient, that they learn to follow the ways of the Lord. It’s not just that I want that product, it’s not just that I want the result of an obedient child, but I am also to be very concerned with how I achieve that result, and what my dealing with my child does to his heart and to his attitude as he deals with his obedience. You can bring someone under great obedience by essentially making them a slave of sorts, beating them into submission. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t spank, what I am saying is that there’s more to parenting then just getting your child to be obedient. You’re going for the heart. In Proverbs, it says, as we looked at the obedience a child was to render, it said “obey from the heart”. Give my heart, give your heart to wisdom. A father’s concern is not just that his children don’t aggravate him when he comes home when he’s worried about all the bills and everything else. His concern is not just that he gets a little peace and quiet, so he wants his children to be seen and not heard. No, his attitude is that of love as he demonstrates it toward the wife, and, as he demonstrates it toward the child. He wants to see that child develop on the inside to have a love for God, to have a heart that has a spirit that is seeking obedience for the right reasons.

One man noted, “Ironically, Christian fathers are often more susceptible to this habit of discouraging their children than the unsaved, for the Christian has higher standards than the man of the world. It is possible to fail to balance our high ideals with grace.” Let us remember how our Heavenly Father treats us. Though He reproves, the general tenor of His attitude toward us and His treatment toward us is one of favor. So our children should have that sense that we favor them; that we love them; that we care about where they’re coming from; that we care about what’s going on inside; that we’re not just trying to get them to do what we want them to do. Although God gives us specific commands and rules, God concentrates on submission of heart. He is not the uninterested father that says, “Stay out of my way,” “Do what I say,” and, “No news is good news.” No, God wants far more than that. God wants that relationship between His children and Himself to be an ongoing relationship, because He knows that’s what we truly need, and that’s what a child needs with his father. Although God does judge, He also graciously overlooks some things for which He could judge us. He remembers that we are dust; He pities us as fathers are to pity their children. Let us not use the commands of Christianity so that we have children that obey and that we manage well, and let us not use that as an excuse to disregard the needs that a child has on the inside. We don’t want mere conformity, we want that transformation of heart.

         As I read through the works of various men that were commenting on this passage, they all seemed to like to make lists of things that exasperate children. I think what I’ll do is just give you those lists, and then proceed. I’m not going to comment a lot on them, but perhaps it will turn over some stone in your backyard, and you can deal with it as God directs you to deal with it. We can exasperate our children by overprotection – not letting them deal with life – by constantly shielding them from what they need to face. We can exasperate them by favoritism. We can exasperate them by depreciating their worth or by setting unrealistic goals for them, by failing to show affection, or by not providing for their needs, by making them feel insecure. Needs are not just that they have a roof over their heads, but the need for a father who has great concern and love for them. We can exasperate our children by a lack of standards, as well as by excessive discipline. We can exasperate our children by criticism as well as by neglect.

         Another man’s list is shorter: we can exasperate them by our irritability and grouchiness. (That is directed to fathers.) We can exasperate them by nagging them, or deriding them, or putting them down. We can exasperate them with an unloving indifference toward them, or by cruel permissiveness. Or to go back a century, one other list is fleshed out in a paragraph: “We exasperate them by unreasonable commands, by perpetual restrictions, by capricious jerks at the bridle [in other words, reigning them in] alternating with as capricious dropping of the reins altogether [in other words, they never know where they stand], by not governing our own tempers, by shrill or stern tones where quiet soft ones would do, by frequent checks and rebukes but sparing praise.”

         We can exasperate our children by leaving them separate from us, by never letting them know who we really are. “Many a father drives his child to the evil by keeping him at a distance,” so noted Alexander Maclaren. John Newton, that former slave trader who came to the Lord and wrote the great hymn, Amazing Grace, said: “I know that my father loved me, but he did not seem to wish me to see it.” That’s exasperating for a child and that’s discouraging. A silent father, more often than not, makes a prodigal son. In Deuteronomy 6:6-7 we’re told that fathers–parents–have the responsibility for godly instruction. We as fathers do our children a disservice when we don’t have the kind of relationship that encourages them to walk with God. “These words which I command thee this day,” God says, “shall be in thine heart.” It starts in your heart, Dads, Moms. It starts with what you really are before God yourself. “And thou shalt teach these words diligently unto thy children. Thou shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house then thou walkest by the way, when the liest down and when thou risest up.” In other words, the number one subject is not football, or hunting or fishing, or the job. The number one subject is the Lord, and if you really love the Lord in your heart, and if His Word is in your heart, then His Word will come out of your mouth, and your children will see that you are permeated by it. The best way for you to teach your children is to display in your own life what you expect in theirs.

         As I look on the final days of my dad’s life, Dad was not a big one for systems and seminars–about anything, and certainly not child rearing. I think about what I treasure most about his relationship to me, and it is not his words - although there are a few memorable phrases that come to mind, especially as I seek to rear a son. The main thing that made a difference in my life, and marked me, was his life. The main thing that made his word powerful, were his works. The main thing that made me more willing to submit to his commands than to anyone else’s was his character. Dads if your character isn’t good, it just rings hollow when you expect your children to do what’s right. You’ve got to display for them what it really means to love the Lord. You’ve got to show it to them, and the things that you do reveal the priorities that you have. Don’t talk out of one side of your mouth that God is the great priority in your life, when it’s clear that too many other things are, and don’t expect your children to walk in the ways of the Lord if your heart is not there yourself.

         Let us respond to our God ordained authorities. God first, and because of God, then to everything else He puts in our life, and that will tell your children the real story, and that will capture their hearts. If you are a rebel at heart, you’re teaching your children when you demand obedience from them that might makes right–which is one of the most abusive forms of relativism. We do right because God desires that we serve the Lord. A man who’s chaffing about submitting to his boss; a man who chaffs about giving toward other people; a man who chaffs about doing the things that are right to do, is a man that is teaching his children a godless way of life with a thin veneer of Christianity. Let us not cause our children to lose heart.

         I think the difficulty that dads and moms face in our day is not only dealing with the demands of home, but trying to meet those demands and responsibilities, and at the same time meet the demands from outside the home, specifically in the workplace, which seems constantly to compete for our devotion. There are those that are lazy. There are those that don’t work hard, but it’s also an easy thing to get into the trap of being devoted to the worship of work, and to think that we are good people because we are hardworking people, and to end up devoting to our work what belongs somewhere else. You know, you can actually be a hard worker because you’re greedy. You can be a hard worker because you want to avoid other responsibilities. Although we certainly want to work hard at what we’re called to do, we want to keep the balance.

         What about Christianity at work? Can you imagine in a day when over half of the 60 million persons that lived in the Roman empire were slaves, can you imagine the pressures at work? We often complain about the extra overtime. Slaves were slaves 24 hours a day. They had the pressures of work like most of us have never faced. So while there’s some obvious differences between the pressures they faced, and what we face in the workplace today, there are though, some similarities. A slave, according to Aristotle, was just a living tool, and the masters had the power of life and death over them. So the many slaves that were no doubt in the church, who had received Christ, how were they to deal now with their slavery? How were they to make Christ Lord of their lives as slaves? Now Paul had a special concern for this issue, and it’s evident by the number of verses that he devotes to it, but Paul had a special concern for this issue because there was a particular slave in the Colossian church named Onesimus. In fact, Paul wrote the book of Philemon, one chapter long, to the master of Onesimus, Philemon, who was also a Christian. Onesimus had run away from his master, had evidently stolen some things, and while he was in Rome had met the apostle Paul, and had also met the Lord and was transformed. So Paul sent him back to his rightful master, and he pleads with Philemon to receive him and to treat him not merely as a slave, but as a brother. Paul is not talking mere theory, he’s talking about matters that have faces to them: individuals for whom he has great love.

         It’s significant that Christ and the apostles never focused their attention on getting rid of slavery, despite the abuses that it was inherently prone to. They never set themselves, for that matter, against any political or social institution, no matter how bad it was. Instead, the New Testament teaches believers how to live godly in the midst of slavery, or in the midst of persecution, or difficult family situations. Man is always trying to change his circumstances, while God is trying to change his heart. If your heart is right, you can deal with the circumstances. If your heart is not right, no circumstance can rescue you from your real troubles. Eventually what Christ and the apostles taught regarding how we treat other people led to the downfall of slavery as an institution. It would have seemed unthinkable back then, but we’ve seen over the course of time that one of the marks of Christianity has been to remove the institution of slavery. “The only way to reform institutions”, Alexander Macleran notes in a day when slavery was still a memory in his own mind, “is to elevate and quicken the general conscious, then the evil will be outgrown, left behind, or thrown aside. Mold men and the men will mold institutions.” Change your heart, and you can deal with the circumstances.

         Now there are some obvious differences between slavery and our workplace today, but what about the similarities? The abuses within slavery, even the evils that were inherent to the system, rose from human depravity, and that same depravity surfaces in the workplace today. People still take advantage of one another, people are still greedy, people are still cruel. So the abuses that a person might have faced as a slave, he’ll face similar kinds of abuses in the workplace, depending on the situation. The second similarity, although the employee does not totally belong to the employer as a slave did to his master, is that he has willingly entered into a working relationship where he owes his employer his time, energy, and abilities in return for the compensation he’s agreed to receive. So there’s a sense in which we’ve sold ourselves for a certain amount of time, for a certain kind of work, to our employer. They will pay us if we will give them of ourselves, and so it’s a limited sort of slavery, or at least there’s some similarity.

        The third hallmark of a godly slave, match those of a godly employee. There’s a similar correspondence of duty and of ethic between masters and employers. If we were to summarize the section before us, it would be, “Let the slave wholeheartedly obey his master, and let the master be kind to his slave.” The ill will, the dishonesty, the laziness that was often characteristic of slaves of the day would be replaced by willing service, integrity and industry. The cruelty and brutality of the master would be replaced by considerateness and love.

         There are three main qualities of a good worker, of a Christian worker, of a person who’s made Christ Lord of his life in the workplace, and they are these: Number one is honest obedience. Honest obedience because God watches. Verse 22, “Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh. Not with eyeservice as menpleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing God.” It says he’s to obey in all things; he’s not to do that which would be contrary to God’s law, but it is that he is to do all things, pleasant or unpleasant. When he’s asked to do it, he does it. When an employee is asked to do something by someone who has bought his time and his energy, he’s to do it, unless there is something that is contrary to the law of God. Not being compliant only embitters your life, and discredits your Christianity. This would disallow just pretending to get work done. You’ve seen people do that haven’t you? When the boss is watching, they look like they’re really busy, but they’re not really getting any work done. It disallows working just to avoid getting into trouble. The attitude that “What my boss doesn’t know won’t hurt me.” No, we’re not to be working as menpleasers. We’re not to be working just to keep out of trouble with the boss. We are to be working in service to the Lord. God is always watching.

         In I Timothy 6:1, Paul says, “Let as many servants as are under the yoke, count their own masters worthy of all honor”. In other words, the slaves’ attitude towards his master was to be one of respect. Not just to obey him, but to respect him, to honor him. As an employee, I should honor my employer. I should show him respect, and I should show him deference. I should not have the kind of spirit that is jockeying for position, or is looking to tear him down. Why? “That the name of God and of His doctrine be not blasphemed”. How many times have loudly professing Christians brought dishonor to God’s name and to His doctrine by talking about theology on the bosses time; or by using as excuses not to do certain work that you’ve got to be with a certain person, or you’ve got to do a certain thing? Don’t let God be your leverage to get out of doing things you just don’t want to do. Don’t make Him party to that. Be honest in your obedience. Titus 2:9-10 exhorts servants to “be obedient unto their own masters to please them well in all things, not answering again [not talking back, not contradicting] not purloining [in other words, not stealing] but showing all good fidelity that they may adorn [and that’s the word we get cosmetics from] the doctrine of God our Savior in all things.” Make the truth beautiful. Make your Christianity beautiful to those who have employed you by the way you work: by working hard, serving the Lord, by doing a good job before God—honest obedience.

         The second quality of a Christian worker is energetic zeal because God rewards. Verse 23: “Whatsoever ye do, do it heartily [quite literally work from the soul] as to the Lord, and not unto men. Knowing that of the Lord, ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance, for ye serve the Lord Christ.” When we offer lax work to our employers, that’s just another version of stealing. They’re paying us to get a job done. When we just do it halfway, then we have just stolen half of what he has paid us. We are to do it from the soul. We don’t do it grumbling, we don’t come into work Monday saying, “Oh man, another day to work. I hate this job.” We’ve all had jobs we hate, and even the jobs we love have parts that we hate at certain times. But our attitude is to be working from the soul. You say, “Why should I have that attitude, I don’t like this job and as soon as I can I’m going to get another one.” Because right now you’re in this job by the providence of God, and it’s God’s will for you to be there, so honor God by what you do. A grumbling attitude is an attitude that has a problem with God. If the job’s so bad that you don’t want to be a part of it, and you think that it really is dishonoring to God for you to be a part of it, then go resign. For God’s sake, resign. If that’s not really the issue, and it’s just that you don’t particularly like what you have to do, then do it for the Lord because you won’t find a job where’s there not something you don’t like to do that’s part of it. I love doing what I do, but there’s an awful lot about what I love that I hate. Isn’t that the truth? Have you ever even thought about how we spend our recreation time? What we call “play”? How much of it is work? How much of it is painful? Just watch a football game. Are those guys having fun? I’m not sure! The rain is pouring down, and this shoulder is out of joint, and this hamstring muscle is pulled, and everything goes wrong. What percentage of that time are they really having fun? Not very much of it! We’re adults, let’s face up to the reality that life has hard things to it, and it’s not totally satisfying. Let’s serve the Lord because that’s what is satisfying.

         Show energetic zeal because it is from the Lord, you’re going to receive the reward. We often say: “I don’t get paid enough to do this job.” Well the Lord says, from Him you’re going to receive the reward, and that word reward, has the idea of complete return. You may not get paid enough–chances are you’re not getting paid enough if you’re working hard, if you’re doing a good job; but remember, God will pay you enough. God’s not going to be a debtor to any man.

         I like what Alexander Macleran said, “If you labor for man’s appreciation of gratitude, you will certainly be disappointed.” How often we get our feelings hurt. He didn’t even notice that I did that extra thing–that happens especially in volunteer work in the church: Nobody even said anything, and I worked so hard on that. Remember it’s of the Lord you receive the reward. It’s of the Lord. Consider how He repays those who are faithful to Him. He’s not a stingy God, He’s lavish in His payment. Remember the parables He told about how He would reward us? Statements like: “Thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many.” “You have saved ten pounds, I will give you ten cities,” or, “whatever you have forsaken for the Lord’s sake, I will pay back a hundred fold” – a hundred times. If you’re working for the Lord, there’s no way you’re going to miss a payday from Him. There’s no way you are going to come out on the short end. In fact, notice, it is the “reward of the inheritance.” Now an inheritance is received as a gift. It is not earned as a wage. It is the language not of slavery, but of sonship. It’s more than any of us could deserve. It can’t be taken away from you. It’s reserved in heaven for you according to Peter, it’s “incorruptible”, it fadeth not away.” Not only are you going to be repaid, but you are going to have lavished on you, an inheritance that belongs to God for what you do. As one has pointed out, if you receive an inheritance through a will, it requires the death of the testator. Jesus Christ God’s Son died for you that you might have this inheritance. This “reward of the inheritance.” And whatever you and I go through, to be faithful to the Lord certainly falls well short of what He has done for us.

         The third principle is to give fair treatment because God judges. Verse 25: “He that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done, and there is no respect of persons.” To do wrong in this instance, the word specifically speaks of doing something injurious to someone else. You hurt somebody by what you do. Now there’s great argument as to who the “he” is here. Is it the master, or is it the slave? Commentators come down on all sides, and are quite settled as to what it means. Some will argue that the only person who could injure would be the master to the slave. Well, my opinion is that the principle is clearly universal, that there is no respect of persons. God could have used “master”, and he could have used “slave”, but instead he used the word “he”. And so I think it applies to both master and slave. If you look at the parallel book of Ephesians, chapter 6 verse 8, you find “and whatsoever good [emphasis added] thing a man doeth the same shall he receive of the Lord [and notice he’s using that ambiguous language as to who the “he” is] whether he be bond or free”. And I think we could just as well set that phrase at the end of this one. “He that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done . . . whether he be bond or free”. For one who possesses greater power has greater opportunity to injure, and so this takes in the master.

         However, God does not overlook a man’s sin just because he’s poor. In fact, it’s interesting in the Old Testament laws on bribery and justice, we are instructed not to favor the rich or the poor. In Leviticus 19:15, “You shall do no unrighteousness in judgement, thou shalt have no respect of the person of the poor nor honor the person of the mighty, but in righteousness thou shalt judge thy neighbor.” How many wrongs are perpetrated with the idea of helping the poor today? What really happens is that the poor just become a pawn for other rich people to get richer and more powerful. Our whole political system today is largely dominated by using the poor as leverage to do what is wrong. We are to be righteous toward the poor and rich. A slave can do injury to his master, can steal from his master, can hurt his master just as a master his slave. A man does not receive the right to break God’s law just because he’s ill-treated. He stands before God. “Masters give unto your servants that which is just and equal knowing that ye also have a master in heaven.” The fact that you have a master and a slave really has nothing to do with how these men stand before God. The fact that one man’s a boss, and one man’s an employee has nothing to do with how he stands before God. Those are circumstancal things. What matters is his heart and his walk before God. As we read in Job 31:13-15, “If I did despise the cause of my mansevant, or my maidservant when they contended with me, what then shall I do when God riseth up? And when He visiteth what shall I answer Him? Did not He that made me in the womb make him?” An employer/master is to give to his employees/servants that which is just and equal. It is just; it’s righteous. In other words, I’m to give him all that he’s entitled to. Now quite honestly, this is a command that many a Christian institution violates, and many a church in the name of Christ violates. “Well, you’re in the Lord’s work, so we can take advantage of you.” Many a business practice regarding employees and even Christian institutions would be transformed by this one requirement that what they do is just, is righteous. For instance, what about a common practice of delaying your employee’s paycheck from when you’re supposed to pay it so you can draw more interest? Leviticus 19:13 reads, “Thou shalt not defraud thy neighbor neither rob him. The wages of him that is hired shall not abide with thee all night until the morning.” God says, don’t even make it a day late. How many young people earnest for God are used up and burned out by unscrupulous employers whose mantra is: “All for the cause of Christ?” More often it is the cause of ambition or greed that uses up people. The cause of Christ needs no abused employees, especially those who have given themselves to serve the Lord. It is to be just, and it is to be equal with no partiality, and no favoritism.

         Can you imagine how revolutionary these words were in a society where slaves had no rights whatsoever? These masters are called to do what is righteous and what is without partiality: not because the slaves had rights, but because God judges. This teaches how you and I treat other people must rise not from what convention demands, but from what God expects. When you hear people say, “Well, it’s legal what I did.” But is it right what you did? Is it ethical, is it equitable, is it without partiality? Not can I get away with it, but is it right before God. That really has to do with all these relationships doesn’t it? We all have obligations, we’re all under service of some sort. We’re to render that service unto God, and just because I’m in a position of authority gives me no more right to do wrong than the guy who’s in a place of service, or inferiority. We all stand or fall before God. God judges. If you exercise power over anyone else, let Christ be your authority. Let Christ be your example of what is right to do toward him, and, let Him define what being in charge means. You want to know how to be a good Dad? How to be a good Mom? How to be a good employer? How to be a person in charge of anyone else, with responsibility over anybody else, look how Christ treats you. Look at what He did for you. Look at how He cares for you, then look at the distance between you and Him and consider whether you and I have any right to take advantage of anyone else. In Ephesians 6:9: “Ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening, knowing that your master also is in heaven, neither is there respect of persons with Him.” When people do business with us, in the home, or in the workplace, does the Lord shine through?  

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